dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
