I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize