Fine. I'll sleep in my office
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
