wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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