Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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