one two three fourrrrnication!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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