She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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