I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
