you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
