can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
