Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
