We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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