Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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