We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
