I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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