when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize