I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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