so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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