need another drink. this is the easiest way
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you had me at cake vodka
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
