How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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