Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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