Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
