It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
