What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize