she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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