i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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