It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize