Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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