He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
