Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
