eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
