He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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