I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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