i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
