Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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