Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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