in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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