In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize