i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
