Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Panties = found
Randomize
