Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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