I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
