My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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