I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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