I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you didnt know i had herpes?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
