I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I party with great urgency now.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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