When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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