my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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