Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
