She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
