Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
