All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize