So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize