whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
