Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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