I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
