There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you had me at cake vodka
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
