I looked at my own cervix.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
