True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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