You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize