tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
