She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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