Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
