return my video game
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize