I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
